5 things NOT to do while under a stay-at-home order

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  1. Don’t agree to dogsit a rambunctious seven-month-old dog who jumps like a kangaroo and won’t learn the word “no”.
  2. If over the age of 70 and weak and ill and a little foggy-minded, don’t decide to do your own plumbing, ie. Don’t try to rig up your own washing machine in a closet upstairs.
  3. Don’t finish an exciting, page-turning trilogy too quickly, lest you’ll be forced to actually write your own series and you’ll be plagued with memories of said trilogy and feel your own scenes will never measure up.
  4. Don’t put your newly washed rug out on the deck railing to dry when the forecast says rain, even if it doesn’t look like it’s actually going to. It will. It really, really will.
  5. Don’t buy a beef brisket to smoke on the grill on Easter when your husband says tenderloin. Even if he said brisket to start, if he changes his mind to tenderloin, drop the brisket and go and find the tenderloin instead.

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